Youth ministry and parenting have this in common: we both deal with teenagers at a tricky time in their lives and we both have the opportunity to give them the gospel or give them condemnation.
Now, no one raises their hands as a parent or a youth worker and says, "I would like to give my teen condemnation." Speaking from the perspective of parent and a youth pastor, there are definitely times I wish I could give my teen something, maybe not good, but I can't remember a time I found myself consciously drawing up plans of condemnation.
Yet, here we are talking about it in this blog and if you are one of the lucky million-plus readers you are probably waiting for something predictable to bounce off of my fingertips such as, "no one votes for bringing condemnation to our teens but we are often guilty of it." You guessed it. And I think it is true. We may have the best intentions but if we are not careful, we may mishandle the gospel just enough so that it shifts from being good news to condemnation.
Here is something that our Wednesday night leaders are reading to better equip ourselves to properly minister to teens. This comes from a book titled Gospel Centered Youth Ministry by Cameron Cole and Jon Nielson. They said:
"traditionally, youth ministry methodology demonstrated a specific theology about kids' biggest problem. It suggested that kids lack both proper knowledge about moral Christian living and sufficient motivation to adhere to the standards. The kids would do right if they just knew how to obey God, and if they had consistent reinforcement to 'be good Christians.' Therefore, youth ministries functioned to educate students on Christian behavior and exhort kids to live for God. This belief may have manifested itself practically through frequent messages centered on behavior, worship designed to generate emotional responses, and exhortations for increased effort in the pursuit of moral Christian living" (page 26).
In other words, it is really easy to reduce ministry to teens to an education and motivation on how Christians ought to behave.
In the meantime, teens are up against some serious struggles within a culture of "widespread addiction, broken sexuality, pervasive corruption, normalized self-absorption, flagrant injustice, unapologetic materialism, chronic depression, and utter despair" (page 25). The concern here is that even well meaning instruction from the Bible can present condemnation to the individual who hears more good advice than they hear good news.
Beyond providing our students with great experiences and wholesome fun with good role models, it was suggested that the greatest way teens can be served in lasting ways is by giving them "an accurate appraisal of the fundamental problem in both people and the world and a clear understanding of the way God can restore them both" (p. 26).
In other words, our teens need a message that is robust enough to deal with sin in themselves and the world around them. They don't need good advice or greater motivation to act more Christian-like as much as they need good news about something that Jesus has diagnosed and about something that Jesus has dealt with finally.
To quote from the book one last time, our writers suggest three underlying issues that need address every teenager's problems:
1. Teens need an accurate sense of the "source of truth." Teenagers can be easily driven by emotion. Our culture does this age group no favors by suggesting truth is relative, determined by how one feels or by popular consensus. For instance, the Bible says God is good but it may be difficult for a teen to believe this given their hardships, pressures, and observed evils. Effective ministry to teens recognizes their emotions and even sympathizes with them but ultimately trains them to anchor their conclusions upon God's truth as it is revealed in Scripture.
2. Teens struggle with a "false view of self." Going back to Genesis 3:5 when the serpent told Adam and Eve that they "could be like God" humanity was multiplied in a false view of self. Teens struggle with this most acutely as they have a sin nature and teenage development to contend with. To minister effectively at this point in their lives requires clear but gentle reminders that they are meant to live "dependently" upon God and that they "naturally defy this need." They need patient, gentle, unwavering help in learning to submit to Jesus as their king. They need gracious help to see the ways they are trying to exercise lordship over their own lives.
3. Teens need to develop an increasingly accurate "view of God." They need to see God revealed from Scripture. They need to see grace and forgiveness modeled to them by parents and leaders so that they will believe that God is slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love towards them (Psalm 103:8). They need to connect themselves to Adam and Eve, who, in the garden ran and hid from God and believed He was someone they could not trust. They need help believing that God is truly for them and not against them (Romans 8:32) if they are in Christ.
There is more that we can say about this but I will leave it here. The implications for parenting and youth workers abound. We aim to be firm and compassionate in pointing our teens to their real hope: Jesus Christ. Only in him will they embrace the truth, understand themselves and the God who forgives them and loves them.
May we give our teens gospel and not condemnation,
Pastor Kevin
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