Marriage gets a lot of attention in the church but relationships don't. It is easy to forget, after all, that when you boil it all down marriage is merely a relationship. Perhaps you would agree with me that a lot of the church's collective thought is given to marriage and less so to normal, everyday relationships. Perhaps this is because, culturally speaking, we are more turned on by romance and less so by friendships. Just make a list of movies featuring friendships vs romance and you will quickly see which heading had the more titles under it.
Paul uses the imagery of a body in 1 Corinthians 12-13 when he describes the church. Even though Scripture doesn't come in and announce that God will now be speaking on relationships a lot is being said on human interaction. When we think about how humans should interact with each other we need to give thought to what God thinks and how God has designed. When we learn that God thinks of his people as a body we start to realize that God wants us to take our shared understanding of a human body and draw inferences about what our collective lives should be.
One such inference that we can draw has to do with commitment and permanence. Maybe your body is noticeably different than mine but I don't have many removable parts. If any part of my body were to be removed I hope that it would be scheduled and it would involve lots of drugs and lots of prayer. When we think about the human body we can begin to appreciate how traumatic it is to lose a hand or a foot and it highlights the value of permanence. You may have never given this any thought but you assume permanence when you think about your appendages. It is so common that you probably take it for granted.
This relates to how God wants us to think about our relationships with each other. God has made us with a desire for intimacy with each other but intimacy is only possible with commitment and permanence. Whenever I officiate a wedding I always like to remind everyone how a couple's love isn't the basis of the covenant but that the covenant is the basis of their love. In other words, covenant commitment paves the way for security and security paves the way for true intimacy. Think about it, would you share the depths of your heart, whether good or bad if you were not confident your spouse or your friend would leave you? You wouldn't. Yet many people desire to have it both ways, intimacy without commitment. Perhaps social media supports this and tells the story of people who want to be known and to be in the know without any commitment.
Christians should theoretically lead the way in commitment and permanence within relationships because Christ is ultimately committed to us, his bride. There may be several reasons people avoid commitment. One might avoid commitment to keep their options open. One might avoid commitment because they lack discipline or they are lazy. Many people are tempted to avoid commitment and permanence because of fear. The more one commits the more vulnerable they become and the more dangerous it is to them. Thus the temptation is to approach relationships with one foot in and one foot out.
Christ is the one who spilled his blood on the cross to secure his covenant commitment to his people. The cross is ultimately relational and when we look at it from this perspective we can see that Jesus faced and conquered the worst kind of rejection or betrayal anyone can face. Since Jesus conquered the grave he has also provided a pathway for his people to overcome their relational fears surrounding commitment, vulnerability and rejection. The relationship we can enjoy with Christ is stabilizing to a believer because Jesus has proved his commitment and permanence to us by spilling his blood and rising again from the dead. If the grave cannot keep Jesus away from his people then Christians should not live relationally by being controlled by their fears or their lack of discipline.
This security between God and man provides the security needed to be committed and to strive for permanence not only in marriage but in all relationships. The reward for permanence is intimacy and the reward for intimacy is meeting God through your various relationships. When we think of the body we can also see that other believers are the means of experiencing the presence of God in our lives. You cannot expect to live in isolation and experience the nearness of God. Thus, the cross of Christ meets us in our fears but also gives us what we need to move forward towards others in healthy ways so that we can experience the fullness of our life together in Christ.
In Christ,
Pastor Kevin
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