Dealing With Grief According to God's Truth by Pastor Kevin

Dealing with Grief Biblically

As we think about dealing with the death of a loved one I would like to present at least a few relevant biblical categories and some Bible passages that goes along with it. God is calling his people to embrace his truth by faith. May we come to know the love of God which surpasses knowledge through our time of grief. This may be a useful resource for yourself or your child. 

God is in Control – God is Sovereign

God’s sovereignty means God has the right, the wisdom, and power to do all that he pleases.

Psalm 115:3 Our God is in the heavens; he does all that he pleases.

Amos 3:6 Is a trumpet blown in a city, and the people are not afraid? Does disaster come to a city, unless the Lord has done it?

Isaiah 45:7 I form light and create darkness; I make well-being and create calamity; I am the Lord, who does all these things.

Matthew 10:29-30 Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? And not one of them will fall to the ground apart from your Father. But even the hairs of your head are all numbered.

Isaiah 40:26 Lift up your eyes on high and see: who created these? He who brings out their host by number, calling them all by name; by the greatness of his might and because he is strong in power, not one is missing.

Psalm 147:4 He determines the number of the stars; he gives to all of them their names.

Psalm 147:15-18 He sends out his command to the earth; his word runs swiftly. He gives snow like wool; he scatters frost like ashes. He hurls down his crystals of ice like crumbs; who can stand before his cold? He sends out his word, and melts them; he makes his wind blow and the waters flow.

God is Wise

His Ways are higher than our ways and he understands things we need much more time understanding.

Psalm 147:5 Great is our Lord, and abundant in power; his understanding is beyond measure.

Romans 11:33-36 Oh, the depth of the riches and wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are his judgments and how inscrutable his ways! “For who has known the mind of the Lord, or who has been his counselor?” “Or who has given a gift to him that he might be repaid?” For from him and through him and to him are all things. To him be glory forever. Amen.

Proverbs 3:19-20 The Lord by wisdom founded the earth; by understanding he established the heavens; by his knowledge the deeps broke open, and the clouds drop down the dew.

Job 42:1-4 Then Job answered the Lord and said: “I know that you can do all things, and that no purpose of yours can be thwarted. Who is this that hides counsel without knowledge?’ Therefore I have uttered what I did not understand, things too wonderful for me, which I did not know.

Isaiah 46:9-10 for I am God, and there is no other; I am God, and there is none like me, declaring the end from the beginning and from ancient times things not yet done, saying, My counsel shall stand, and I will accomplish all my purpose,’

Isaiah 55:9 For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.

God is Loving and Good

God is in control of all things but it is only good news that he is because he is loving and good.

1 John 4:7-8 Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love.

Deuteronomy 32:4 The Rock, his work is perfect, for all his ways are justice. A God of faithfulness and without iniquity, just and upright is he.

Nahum 1:7 The Lord is good, a stronghold in the day of trouble; he knows those who take refuge in him. God will allow his people to grieve.

Psalm 34:8 Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good! Blessed is the man who takes refuge in him!

Psalm 100:5 For the Lord is good; his steadfast love endures forever, and his faithfulness to all generations.

Psalm 145:9 The Lord is good to all, and his mercy is over all that he has made.

God always Works for the Glory of His Name and the Good of His People

There is a greater purpose to which all things are directed towards: God's glory and fame in all the earth.

Psalm 46:10-11 Be still, and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth!” The Lord of hosts is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress. Selah God is with us

Romans 8:28 And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.

Romans 5:1-5 Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. Through him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God. Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.

God Grieves and Lets His People Grieve

God could have alleviated the grief of Mary and Martha but he does not. God accomplishes a lot in our grief.

John 11:30-37 Now Jesus had not yet come into the village, but was still in the place where Martha had met him. When the Jews who were with her in the house, consoling her, saw Mary rise quickly and go out, they followed her, supposing that she was going to the tomb to weep there. Now when Mary came to where Jesus was and saw him, she fell at his feet, saying to him, “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died.” When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had come with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in his spirit and greatly troubled. And he said, “Where have you laid him?” They said to him, “Lord, come and see.” Jesus wept. So the Jews said, “See how he loved him!” But some of them said, “Could not he who opened the eyes of the blind man also have kept this man from dying?”

Psalm 119:67 Before I was afflicted I went astray, but now I keep your word.

Psalm 119:71 It is good for me that I was afflicted, that I might learn your statutes.

Psalm 90:12 So teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom.

God Heals 

God will allow us to grieve but he always puts us back together where we are more like Christ.

Psalm 147:3 He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.

Proverbs 3:5-8 Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. Be not wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord, and turn away from evil. It will be healing to your flesh and refreshment to your bones.

Psalm 34:18-19 The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the Lord delivers him out of them all.

God Is Better Than This Life

There is a great reward for believers in Christ who pass away: being with Christ. 

Philippians 1:21,23  For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain…I am hard pressed between the two. My desire is to depart and be with Christ, for that is far better.

Luke 23:43 And he [Jesus] said to him, “Truly, I say to you, today you will be with me in paradise.”

2 Corinthians 5:6-9 So we are always of good courage. We know that while we are at home in the body we are away from the Lord, for we walk by faith, not by sight. Yes, we are of good courage, and we would rather be away from the body and at home with the Lord. So whether we are at home or away, we make it our aim to please him.

1 John 3:2 Beloved, we are God's children now, and what we will be has not yet appeared; but we know that when he appears we shall be like him, because we shall see him as he is.

Matthew 25:23 His master said to him, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant. You have been faithful over a little; I will set you over much. Enter into the joy of your master.’


Psalm 116:15 Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of his saints.

…What if I Struggle? 

If you struggle with Anger towards God: Remember that God is in control and he has wisdom that is beyond your understanding. God has a perfect sense of justice. Therefore, humble yourself under God’s mighty hand and ask him to help you trust that his plan is good and right. God has not abandoned you, he is not against those who are in Christ and God does not answer all of our prayers the way we want him to. 

Not all of our anger in death is sinful anger. It is possible to be righteously angry at our sin which brought on the consequence of death. It is appropriate to acknowledge how severely unnatural and wrong death is.

If you struggle with fear: Remember God is good and because he is in control of all things, nothing is ever random. We are never free to be irresponsible but we are free to trust that God only gives us good things in our lives that will bring him glory and bring us closer to God. 

If you struggle to believe God’s goodness: Remember God’s wisdom is higher than your wisdom and ALL God’s ways are just and fair (Deuteronomy 32:4). Keep your mind focused on God’s truth above your feelings and ask God to shape your emotions after them. Also remember that God makes everything right in ways we don’t fully understand.

If you struggle to believe you can ever be joyful again: Remember that God’s promise to his people is that He is with us and He gives comfort.  God promises that sadness lasts for a short time and He will provide joy that lasts longer (For his anger is but for a moment, and his favor is for a lifetime. Weeping may tarry for the night, but joy comes with the morning. Psalm 30:5). 

Learning to Lament...

God is a God who understands emotion. He sent His Son among us. The reason the incarnation of Jesus is so wonderful (God becoming flesh) is because Jesus experienced human emotions both sorrow and joy. God understands and expects that His people will face all kinds of feelings and emotions in the face of tragedy. In fact, the Bible tells us that God wants us to learn how to lament when we feel sadness and experience loss. Consider the following Psalms:

Psalm 13

How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever?

How long will you hide your face from me?

How long must I take counsel in my soul

and have sorrow in my heart all the day?

How long shall my enemy be exalted over me?

Consider and answer me, O Lord my God;

light up my eyes, lest I sleep the sleep of death,

lest my enemy say, “I have prevailed over him,”

lest my foes rejoice because I am shaken.

But I have trusted in your steadfast love;

my heart shall rejoice in your salvation.

I will sing to the Lord,

because he has dealt bountifully with me.

Also Consider Psalm 42-43, 69, 77, 88. 

Lamenting is God’s way to acknowledge our sadness and validate our struggle. Learning to lament by faith, to feel what we feel and then talk to God about it will help His people to experience God’s steadfast love more fully. 

We can divide life into three main categories: organization, disorganization, reorganization. Lamenting by faith is a key way God moves an individual from disorganization into reorganization.