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Applying the Gospel to a Victim of Sexual Abuse, by Pastor Kevin

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Applying the Gospel to a Victim of Sexual Abuse
By Pastor Kevin

Sexual abuse is more than sexual abuse, it is also emotional, physical, relational, and gender abuse. It is perhaps the worst kind of abuse that is incredibly damaging. When Tamar was raped by her step-brother in 2 Samuel 13, Amnon, her question was this in verse 13: “where could I carry my shame?” After Amnon violates her Tamar publicly laments by putting ashes on her head and tore the long robe that she wore (verse 19).
The ashes symbolized something. They symbolized the dirtiness of the shame that she felt. Tamar’s soul seemed a polluted hole like the soot from ashes. Robert Kelleman in his book titled Sexual Abuse said that “many sexual abuse victims feel a tremendous amount of false guilt that leads to a sense of worthlessness and ugliness.” In one case that he counseled, a young lady described her shameful feelings by saying that “[I’m] convinced that people’s eyes can pierce right into my soul and see the pit of evil that I and everyone else want to reject.” For many victims of abuse, their shame causes them to feel shut out from God and other people just as Amnon put Tamar out of his presence and bolted the door after her (verse 18). Many victims of abuse bolt the door of their hearts to anyone on the outside, thinking that they need hide the mess from anyone to see. The lie that Satan wants to perpetuate is that God’s grace cannot overcome a victim’s disgrace.
To be sure, Tamar and any abuse victim needs very much more than can be outlined here. On the other hand, compassionate listening to her soul is the starting place. By listening it allows Tamar a chance to be a human being who has a voice. We are told twice that Amnon did not listen to her (verse 14, 16). Absalom and David don’t do much better. Listening to Tamar returns the voice to her that was wrongfully taken. Additionally, listening compassionately incarnates the gospel by assuring that God’s grace is both willing to enter the felt ugliness while it assures the victim that this ugliness does not define them. Instead, they are reminded that they are a beloved child of God, beautiful in His sight, useful for work in His kingdom, and able to trust people in safe relationships again.
May the church of Christ learn to love and embrace abuse victims as Jesus would. If you are a victim of abuse, you are deeply loved by your Heavenly Father. This he has proved by sending His Son to bear your shame so you would know you are the son or daughter of The King.  




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