Many are rejoicing in our day about the advances of same-sex marriage. The Supreme Court ruling by a margin of 5-4 now makes it illegal for any state to ban same-sex marriage. Depending on where you land on the spectrum of "tolerance" or rejection of same-sex marriage there are some myths to dis-spell regarding this issue.
Before I get to the myths, it is crucial for me to point out that the Bible treats homosexuality as a voluntary act of rebellion against God (Romans 1:26-27). Scripture calls believers to respond to homosexual individuals with kindness, gentleness, and sympathy for their struggle (2 Timothy 2:24-26). However, there is nothing in Scripture that suggests homosexual behavior is natural or a part of God's design nor a part of human flourishing and fulfillment. Therefore, Scripture teaches that the correct response to homosexual inclinations is to repent and trust Jesus for forgiveness and strength (Luke 3:3).
Without further ado, here is the first of five myths regarding same-sex marriage:
For those in favor of marriage equality the trump card being played is that it is unloving bigotry to not tolerate the right to marry who one loves. The really slippery slope of this movement in our day is the way gay rights are promoted on the basis of emotional appeal. Naturally, since Christians are called to love one another, even their enemies, we don't want to harm anyone. We sympathize with the struggle of homosexuals and we seek to do the very best for them. With this earnest desire for the good of everyone I have found myself asking myself: is gay marriage really against God's design? Can't we just let those drawn to homosexuality do what they want? Does it really harm anyone?
The answer is this: letting people do what they want on the basis of feeling isn't always equivalent to love. For instance: I love my children but I do not let them drink caffeinated pop before bed even though they really want to. Doing what you want and doing what you ought are two different things. This is why the foundation of the marriage equality movement is compelling but faulty. Allowing the right to marry based on want isn't always equivalent to love. In this case, allowing an individual full freedom to marry whom they want isn't loving, it is destructive, which is always the case when God's design is not honored.
Here are some biblical and statistical proofs that same-sex relationships are contrary to God's natural order and therefore destructive and unloving to condone:
Biblically: The Bible says that practicing homosexuality is a sin and not a blessed part of God's created order:
Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. And such were some of you. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God. 1 Corinthians 6:9
Now we know that the law is good, if one uses it lawfully, understanding this, that the law is not laid down for the just but for the lawless and disobedient, for the ungodly and sinners, for the unholy and profane, for those who strike their fathers and mothers, for murderers, the sexually immoral, men who practice homosexuality, enslavers, liars, perjurers, and whatever else is contrary to sound doctrine, in accordance with the gospel of the glory of the blessed God with which I have been entrusted. 1 Timothy 1:8-11
There is a deeper issue with homosexuality that the Bible addresses and it has to do with the way a relationship between a man and a woman reflects the worship of a human and a holy God who is utterly different or "other" to them. Just as men and women are strangely similar yet utterly different from one another, so is the creator God utterly different from humans yet he is accessible and understandable.
Consider Romans 1:24-28
Therefore God gave them up in the lusts of their hearts to impurity, to the dishonoring of their bodies among themselves, because they exchanged the truth about God for a lie and worshiped and served the creature rather than the Creator, who is blessed forever! Amen. For this reason God gave them up to dishonorable passions. For their women exchanged natural relations for those that are contrary to nature; and the men likewise gave up natural relations with women and were consumed with passion for one another, men committing shameless acts with men and receiving in themselves the due penalty for their error.
The Apostle Paul likens the practice of homosexuality to the practice of idol worship. Why? It is because the motivation for making idols is to worship a God that is just like man as opposed to a God that is utterly different that we cannot control. Homosexuality resembles this and Paul says a culture who embraces homosexuality has done so as it has embraced idolatry. In other words, homosexuality is the natural overflow to a culture marked by self-absorption. And yes, the United States has gotten extremely self absorbed and individualistic and no, it isn't loving to direct people further into this path.
Statistically: Death is the fruit of homosexuality. Vaginal sex between a man and woman is the planting of seed that is nurtured and produces life. This is scientifically proven and part of God's natural order. Anal sex has no possibility of planting seed that can be nurtured to life or reproduction.
Additionally, the facts are always hidden from the gay agenda. Here is what you don't hear in the debate on gay marriage:
Promiscuity: Homosexual relationships are extremely promiscuous, particularly among homosexual males. Perhaps it is driven by the foundation of "want," studies show that "only 10 percent are existing in closed coupled relationships...only 17 percent reported having less than fifty sexual partners" (taken from the Truth About Same Sex Marriage by Erwin Lutzer). Other studies suggest as high as 82 percent of heterosexual spouses claim monogamy to their partner. While gay couples argue a distinction between emotional fidelity and sexual exclusivity, Scripture gives no indication that the two can be separated. The facts suggest that it is normal for an older homosexual to have between 100 and 500 partners in their lifetime.
Divorce: Lutzer is right to conclude that homosexual marriage comes no where near providing the stable environment for nurturing children. This begs the question: who is thinking about the love that children deserve in all of this? The homosexual divorce rates are extremely high and therefore a particularly unstable and unloving environment for partners and children alike.
Lifespan: Matt Slick, President of Christian Apologetic and Research Ministries reports that the life expectancy for a practicing homosexual man is between 8-20 years less than a heterosexual man. Slick also makes mention of a study conducted by the United Kingdom which suggests a homosexual has a life expectancy 24 years less than a heterosexual.
Homosexual men are 44-86 times more likely to contract HIV Aids than non homosexual men and 40-77 times as likely as women. Even though the US population is only 2 percent homosexual it accounts for 61 percent of HIV infection.
Domestic Violence: Domestic violence doubles for homosexual men compared to heterosexual couples.
Marriage as a whole will diminish. It is a myth in itself to think that because marriage equality grants the right for gay couples to marry that marriage will increase. To the contrary, marriage as a whole will suffer. Here is a report from Erwin Lutzer:
"In an April 2007 abstract from the World Congress of Families entitled "Homosexual Unions: Rare and Fragile," the organization reports:
'Progressive activists in the United States have argued strenuously in recent years that giving homosexuals the legal right to marry will improve life for homosexual couples and will consequently benefit society as a whole. A new study of same-sex marriage in Scandinavia, however, casts serious doubt on such assertions. For, as it turns out, relatively few homosexual couples avail themselves of this revolutionary right. And a surprisingly high percentage of those who do so end up in divorce court.'"
In short, the facts simply do not support the notion that "love"can truly be the driving motivation for marriage equality.
What is, then?
This will be addressed in Myth #3: Tolerance of same-sex marriage is about civil rights and not about religion
Myth 2: Same-sex marriage is based upon, supported and motivated by love.
For those in favor of marriage equality the trump card being played is that it is unloving bigotry to not tolerate the right to marry who one loves. The really slippery slope of this movement in our day is the way gay rights are promoted on the basis of emotional appeal. Naturally, since Christians are called to love one another, even their enemies, we don't want to harm anyone. We sympathize with the struggle of homosexuals and we seek to do the very best for them. With this earnest desire for the good of everyone I have found myself asking myself: is gay marriage really against God's design? Can't we just let those drawn to homosexuality do what they want? Does it really harm anyone?
The answer is this: letting people do what they want on the basis of feeling isn't always equivalent to love. For instance: I love my children but I do not let them drink caffeinated pop before bed even though they really want to. Doing what you want and doing what you ought are two different things. This is why the foundation of the marriage equality movement is compelling but faulty. Allowing the right to marry based on want isn't always equivalent to love. In this case, allowing an individual full freedom to marry whom they want isn't loving, it is destructive, which is always the case when God's design is not honored.
Here are some biblical and statistical proofs that same-sex relationships are contrary to God's natural order and therefore destructive and unloving to condone:
Biblically: The Bible says that practicing homosexuality is a sin and not a blessed part of God's created order:
Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. And such were some of you. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God. 1 Corinthians 6:9
Now we know that the law is good, if one uses it lawfully, understanding this, that the law is not laid down for the just but for the lawless and disobedient, for the ungodly and sinners, for the unholy and profane, for those who strike their fathers and mothers, for murderers, the sexually immoral, men who practice homosexuality, enslavers, liars, perjurers, and whatever else is contrary to sound doctrine, in accordance with the gospel of the glory of the blessed God with which I have been entrusted. 1 Timothy 1:8-11
There is a deeper issue with homosexuality that the Bible addresses and it has to do with the way a relationship between a man and a woman reflects the worship of a human and a holy God who is utterly different or "other" to them. Just as men and women are strangely similar yet utterly different from one another, so is the creator God utterly different from humans yet he is accessible and understandable.
Consider Romans 1:24-28
Therefore God gave them up in the lusts of their hearts to impurity, to the dishonoring of their bodies among themselves, because they exchanged the truth about God for a lie and worshiped and served the creature rather than the Creator, who is blessed forever! Amen. For this reason God gave them up to dishonorable passions. For their women exchanged natural relations for those that are contrary to nature; and the men likewise gave up natural relations with women and were consumed with passion for one another, men committing shameless acts with men and receiving in themselves the due penalty for their error.
The Apostle Paul likens the practice of homosexuality to the practice of idol worship. Why? It is because the motivation for making idols is to worship a God that is just like man as opposed to a God that is utterly different that we cannot control. Homosexuality resembles this and Paul says a culture who embraces homosexuality has done so as it has embraced idolatry. In other words, homosexuality is the natural overflow to a culture marked by self-absorption. And yes, the United States has gotten extremely self absorbed and individualistic and no, it isn't loving to direct people further into this path.
Statistically: Death is the fruit of homosexuality. Vaginal sex between a man and woman is the planting of seed that is nurtured and produces life. This is scientifically proven and part of God's natural order. Anal sex has no possibility of planting seed that can be nurtured to life or reproduction.
Additionally, the facts are always hidden from the gay agenda. Here is what you don't hear in the debate on gay marriage:
Promiscuity: Homosexual relationships are extremely promiscuous, particularly among homosexual males. Perhaps it is driven by the foundation of "want," studies show that "only 10 percent are existing in closed coupled relationships...only 17 percent reported having less than fifty sexual partners" (taken from the Truth About Same Sex Marriage by Erwin Lutzer). Other studies suggest as high as 82 percent of heterosexual spouses claim monogamy to their partner. While gay couples argue a distinction between emotional fidelity and sexual exclusivity, Scripture gives no indication that the two can be separated. The facts suggest that it is normal for an older homosexual to have between 100 and 500 partners in their lifetime.
Divorce: Lutzer is right to conclude that homosexual marriage comes no where near providing the stable environment for nurturing children. This begs the question: who is thinking about the love that children deserve in all of this? The homosexual divorce rates are extremely high and therefore a particularly unstable and unloving environment for partners and children alike.
Lifespan: Matt Slick, President of Christian Apologetic and Research Ministries reports that the life expectancy for a practicing homosexual man is between 8-20 years less than a heterosexual man. Slick also makes mention of a study conducted by the United Kingdom which suggests a homosexual has a life expectancy 24 years less than a heterosexual.
Homosexual men are 44-86 times more likely to contract HIV Aids than non homosexual men and 40-77 times as likely as women. Even though the US population is only 2 percent homosexual it accounts for 61 percent of HIV infection.
Domestic Violence: Domestic violence doubles for homosexual men compared to heterosexual couples.
Marriage as a whole will diminish. It is a myth in itself to think that because marriage equality grants the right for gay couples to marry that marriage will increase. To the contrary, marriage as a whole will suffer. Here is a report from Erwin Lutzer:
"In an April 2007 abstract from the World Congress of Families entitled "Homosexual Unions: Rare and Fragile," the organization reports:
'Progressive activists in the United States have argued strenuously in recent years that giving homosexuals the legal right to marry will improve life for homosexual couples and will consequently benefit society as a whole. A new study of same-sex marriage in Scandinavia, however, casts serious doubt on such assertions. For, as it turns out, relatively few homosexual couples avail themselves of this revolutionary right. And a surprisingly high percentage of those who do so end up in divorce court.'"
In short, the facts simply do not support the notion that "love"can truly be the driving motivation for marriage equality.
What is, then?
This will be addressed in Myth #3: Tolerance of same-sex marriage is about civil rights and not about religion
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