What is truly astounding in this passage is that Paul doesn't just address the child's obligation to his or her parents but he also outlines the parents obligation to the child. This is lost on us but would not have been to Paul's original audience who were trying to do life in a Roman context. Don't forget it was the Romans who devised the cross as an instrument of execution that also maximized agony. I'm trying to show you that Romans loved power, control, and authority. Paul summoning children to obey their parents would have been cheered in a Roman context but any address to parents that pointed out their obligation to their children would have been the proverbial scratched record with music coming to a deafening silence at a party. In other words, the Roman world would have heartily affirmed the call to children obeying parents but the call to restrict parental domination over the child would have been countercultural, upsetting even to the Roman household code.
Don't get me wrong, however. The kind of obedience Paul was calling children to overlapped the Roman idea but was definitely not the same. While Roman culture would have seen children as subservient, Christianity sees the role children have to their parents as surrender. There is a big difference between subservience and surrender and Christian parents must understand the difference lest they force their children into subservience and rob them of their opportunity to surrender. Let me explain.
You will notice Paul doesn't say "children obey your parents." Paul says "children obey your parents in the Lord." These three little words "in the Lord" transforms this command the way chocolate syrup transforms a bowl of plain vanilla ice cream. Now we have something new and something beautiful (actually, I for one would prefer plain vanilla ice cream). If Paul would have merely commanded children to obey their parents they would be called to nothing more than blind obedience, subservience. Subservience suggests less importance, subordination, or unquestioned conformity. This isn't what Paul calls children to nor is the way God views children who are equally made in the image of God. Instead, he calls them to surrender. Let me point out three things that are involved with surrender:
1. Surrender Involves Volition: Blind obedience that amounts to unquestioned subservience isn't surrender because it isn't volitional. In other words, it isn't an act of the will that a child is choosing. Christian obedience is ultimately aimed at responding to God "in the Lord." Thus, the obedience that Paul calls children to isn't forced, coerced, manipulated or threatened. Parents need to be careful they don't use Ephesians 6:1 as a whip when it is really a call to respond to God. When parents coerce their kids to obey them at all costs they paint a picture of a domineering God who strips them of their will.
2. Surrender Involves the Spirit: The construction of this section of Ephesians is very important. Paul commands in Ephesians 5:18 "do not get drunk with wine but be filled with the spirit." Then Paul calls believers to be subject to each other out of reverence for Christ (5:21) and then he provides three particular contexts to show how submission looks in each context: marriage (5:22-33), parenting (6:1-4), and work (6:5-9). Being filled with the Spirit is the key to this whole section. So if you follow all that, parents must remember that true obedience is empowered by God's Spirit. Parents who bark at their kids to practice Ephesians 6:1 might be acting like their own version of the Holy Spirit, minus the indwelling power....and minus the eternal fruitfulness.
3. Surrender Involves Worship: This is the natural progression of the first two. When Paul says children obey your parents in the Lord these three little words transforms obedience into worshipping God. Now I find myself reiterating point number 1, namely, no one ever worshipped God because they were forced to. Worship is willful, it is done in faith and from a heart that wants to please God. Worship knows God and responds accordingly. Children obeying parents in the Lord is willful, empowered by the Holy Spirit. It is not "take out the trash and remember Ephesians 6:1."
Parents, Don't Be More Intent On Keeping Your Kids From Violating Verse 1 Than You Should Be From Violating Verse 4.
First of all, thats a long heading. Second, don't provoke your children to anger, says Paul in verse 4. Many Christian parents should probably be searching their hearts wondering if they have violated this command simply by the way they, ahem, remind their kids of verse 1. If this is the case parents who violate verse 4 are worse offenders than children who violate verse 1, although consequences in the home are seldom distributed that way. Lets face it, child violators are frequently highlighted more publicly and suffer the biggest consequences. If I were honest I had begun holding my kids to the standard of Ephesians 6:1 before I really started asking what Ephesians 6:4 actually meant. Perhaps the consequences for violating parents are discovered later on when their kids want nothing to do with God. Parents who honor verse 4 to their kids reveal what it is like to know God and respond to him in faith. Thus, Godly parents who are more intent on not violating verse 4 than they are intent on keeping their kids from violating verse 1 serve their children by giving them a parent (and a God) to whom they would long to obey.
This is what made this command so countercultural in a Roman context and what keeps it so distinctly Christian even today. May God give us grace for these things.
I realize that we need a lot of clarity about how parents should call their children to honor verse 1 and I will address this next week. In the meantime, I trust these words will call you into the right meditations and actions.
Making disciples for the glory of Christ,
Pastor Kevin
Comments
Post a Comment