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Parenting out of the Gospel, Part 5

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Affirming and Encouraging our children’s positive development

Imagine you are in a prayer circle at church or in a family devotion and children are present. Not only do they sit quietly and respectfully, they participate of their own will by offering sweet and innocent and biblical prayers. If we are going to let the Gospel truly shape our efforts in parenting and spiritual development we have to ask and answer an important question: “how will we encourage this child?”

The reason we should be thoughtful about it is because our answer may be the difference between drawing attention to the work of Christ in them and their work for Christ. It is the difference between seeking justification by keeping the law of God rather than receiving his grace. Our children need to live in the hope that an almighty God works through needy people, not needy people work for an almighty God. God is not served by human hands as though he needed anything” (Acts 17:25).


God is pleased with us as we put our faith in Jesus and claim our dependency upon his grace, not on our performance. Drawing attention to our children’s performance rather than the work of Christ in them is another example of what it looks like to parent out of the law. If this is the way we encourage it may reduce Christianity and the church to a club, a club that they are well accepted in so long as they behave a certain way. We don't want to do that.

So how does it look to parent out of the Gospel when it comes to encouragement? Here is one example: “we are all sinners and sometimes it is hard for us to trust God and ask him for help, isn’t it? We are so glad that Jesus died on the cross to pay for our sins and help us to trust in him. I can see that God is helping you to grow in trusting him.” This approach highlights the work of Jesus to make it possible for us to pray. It keeps God in his place as the helper and us in our place as those in need of his grace. This response invites the child to rejoice in the work of God in them while it keeps us from laying the burden of performance upon our children.

May we all have the grace that we need to highlight the Gospel of Jesus, even in the positive signs of God’s work among the next generation.  

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