If someone were to ask you "what does it mean to be a woman" or "what does it mean to be a man"what would you say? It is a little trickier than it first seems, isn't it? I imagine I would stumble and bumble and fumble through some words or thoughts and ultimately not come to anything all that concrete. I might say say a few things that are true along the way but leave the person I was speaking with more confused than they were before I opened my mouth.
Here is a very helpful and thoughtful answer from Kevin DeYoung. To combat the a "alphabet groups" such as the LGBTQA+ groups Christians can form their own. ABCDE is the new group designed to answer and articulate with biblical clarity:
A - Appearance ("Men and women are different and should look different...Confusing the appearance of our genders is contrary to nature. When Paul says that nature itself teaches long hair is a disgrace to man, he's not making a universal statement about hair-length. but he is making two universal statements about gender. First, he's asserting it isn't right for men to look like women. Second, how this plays out will be somewhat determined by the culture. These two core principles undergird Paul's primary point: men should not seem to be women or express themselves in a feminine way, nor should women express themselves in a masculine way or seem to be men.")
B - Body ("Gender carries with it its own ought-ness. Our actions should correspond to divinely created identity. Our bodies therefore signify a divine design and that design carries an outness to how we use that body. A man has a body that uniquely fits, in a one flesh union, with a woman. It is not designed to fit together in a one flesh union with another man.")
C - Character ("Peter [in 1 Peter 3:1-7] enjoins women to be respectful, pure, and gentle, while he enjoins men to show honor, understanding, and caring leadership. From this passage, we might suggest that the crowning characteristic of a woman is true beauty and the crowning characteristic of the man is true strength. ...Women are wired for beauty. ...Similarly, men generally are physically stronger, more interested in sports, more willing to indulge war movies, and more inclined to activities like competitive hunting or fishing because they are wired for strength.")
Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct. Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious. For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening.
Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered. -1 Peter 3:1-7
D - Demeanor ("Notice what Paul is doing in [1 Thess 2:7-8 and 2:11-12].
But we were gentle among you, like a nursing mother taking care of her own children. So, being affectionately desirous of you, we were ready to share with you not only the gospel of God but also our own selves, because you had become very dear to us. 1 Thessalonians 2:7-8
For you know how, like a father with his children, we exhorted each one of you and encouraged you and charged you to walk in a manner worthy of God, who calls you into his own kingdom and glory. v. 11-12
First, Paul describes his own ministry among the Thessalonians like that of a nursing mother: gentle, affectionate, sacrificial. Second, he describes his ministry as 'fatherly': full of exhortation, encouragement, and leadership. Paul identifies these demeanors as corresponding with one gender more than the other.")
E - Eager Posture ("The wife should be willing to be led and the husband eager to take the sacrificial initiative to lead.")
Hopefully after reading you would gain some simple yet biblical parameters for answering the question. At minimum, it may be a good idea for dads to sit down with their daughters or sons and go through this list with them. You might be surprised about what you might learn together.
In Christ,
Pastor Kevin
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