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Are You In A Same-Sex Marriage? by Pastor Kevin

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The title is obviously provocative. However, it isn't what you think. We are not addressing the issue of homosexuality (at least not today) but we are addressing something important that often goes unnoticed. Since before the fall of mankind God created male and female with differing roles. Men and women are the equal in essence but distinct in roles. 

As the church of Christ seeks to defend our stance on sex and sexuality it should be noticed that many heterosexual marriages, perhaps all of them, fall victim to faulty role execution among husbands and wives. Equal in essence, distinct in roles. Some of us have embraced, either willingly or unwillingly, something else. Maybe our marriages are equal in essence, equal in roles. 

Who would be there to correct you, after all? The world around us rings in the song of equality. In fact, equality may be the defining mantra of our day. Let's face it, every believer is faced with at least three significant enemies: the world (the wide-spread system of belief antithetical to God), the flesh (our sin nature filled with sinful desires) and the devil (do I need to explain this one?). 

Thus, I am not here to condemn but to remind and encourage us to constantly calibrate our marriages and our gender identity after what God has revealed. Let me offer these definitions of manhood and womanhood for your consideration and clarification. Keep in mind, these are imperfect definitions. They are man made and at best, they capture the essence of what Scripture teaches about manhood and womanhood.

Manhood: True manhood is man's response to God's calling for men to gladly assume sacrificial responsibility (taken from Designed for Joy, Jonathan Parnell and David Mathis).

Womanhood: True womanhood is woman’s response to God’s calling for women to affirm, receive and nurture strength and leadership from worthy men in ways appropriate to women’s differing relationships (John Piper).

Let me point out a few things from these definitions:

1. Manhood and womanhood is lived out in response to God. Thus, to live in distinctly male or female ways that accord with your God-given gender is a part of your faith in Christ and worship of God. 

2. Manhood and womanhood in their distinct roles is a calling given to us by God and it is not a result of the fall. God assigned gender roles prior to the fall (see Genesis 2:15-25) which means manhood and womanhood in all of their distinctness not only reveals the beauty of God's design but fulfills a particular purpose for creation in displaying the glory of God. 

3. Men gladly assume sacrificial responsibility. We can say men are called to provide and protect and it seems those roles are assumed in sacrificial responsibility. By the time we get to Ephesians 5 we learn that male headship in marriage is designed for demonstrating love to a husbands wife. More than that, it puts on display to the world the love that Christ has for his church. 

4. Womanhood is about affirming, receiving, and nurturing. This is quite the opposite of the brash and aggressive portrait portrayed by feminism. More specifically, this nurture is dedicated to and decided upon by the women so that they are helping men to channel strength and leadership into ways that serves Christ and furthers His kingdom. 

There is so much more to say but let me leave you with these points. I invite you and your spouse to use these definitions to assess yourselves and decide how they will represent distinct roles of masculinity and femininity for your children and the world around you to observe. May God grant us marriages that reveal the beauty of God in maleness and femaleness for His glory and our joy. 

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